Surgery and Beyond

The day of surgery we had to be at the hospital by 10:00am, but we were there about an hour earlier and still I was not ready on time for surgery. At least this time it was not my fault, the nurses were taking awhile to get me ready since quite a few people were there for surgeries. So that just before surgery everything was rush, rush and I didn't have time to really freak out that I was just about to have my arm cut open and have metal wires placed into my elbow tissue and screws drilled to put my elbow back together. I had met my surgeon who was very calm and answered all my questions very expertly (obviously, since he is a specialist) but it was reassuring to have his persona fit his bio. 

When I awoke from surgery, I felt groggy but okay. The surgeon told me that he had to use two more wires to hold my elbow together than he had expected, but that the surgery had gone well. The worse case scenario would have been a steel plate which did NOT happen. I am so grateful for that. It took awhile before they would release me, but finally I was able to go home. Back to sleeping in my chair in the living room. When it was time to take my medication, I was starting to be in incredible pain. I was to take 1/2 tablet to two tablets depending on the intensity of the pain. I took 1/2 of a tablet but what we did not realize was that it would take about a half hour to take effect. The 1/2 tablet wasn't even helping, I was groaning in pain and pressing my fingernails into my face to counter balance the pain; over the next 40 minutes I had taken the max amount and the pain was subdued. I hate to take medication; however, I could not imagine having to feel that excruciating pain again. It took me almost two days to hate feeling medicated enough to start weaning myself off the drugs.

On the fourth day after surgery, I was drug free and able to deal with the pain. Sure I didn't sleep that much, but i was basically living in my chair. The doctor didn't want me doing anything but resting and I followed his orders. Showering was a nightmare. I had this sleeve that fitted over the cast and I could only be in it for 5 minutes max and I had a sling holding my arm. But like all things this too would pass. And the shower felt wonderful.

I had my post-op appointment and I was put in a brace. The good news is that now I can shower with just the sling, but the bad news is that the brace is heavy and very uncomfortable. I was already dealing with chronic pain in my neck, spinal column, shoulders and arms before the broken elbow and now it is made much worse. I just have to be very aware constantly of how much strain I am putting on my injured body.

 I see the surgeon on the 17th of April and will find out the next step. Right now my arm just hangs around in the brace and I can't use it, but when it heals enough then I will be able to go to physical therapy to get the exercises to do so that I can begin using my hand & arm again. 

Reading this reminded me of all the things I took for granted, but that is the way of life. It is so easy to take things for granted and then when something has been taken away, then you realize how much you had and didn't even know it. Now I really get being grateful for every simple thing in my life (my life has been reduced to such simplicity; I can do so little), and my daughter has been such a blessing without her help I can't imagine how I would have gotten through this. 

There are so many people going through difficult times and a little help or kindness means so much. I have had many kindnesses and I feel so supported. When you are recovering from an injury or whatever and you feel so alone, fragile, and vulnerable; any kindness lifts your spirits. Depression is always near; waiting to ensnare you. Self pity & fear are a constant threat also. Just like I have to be constantly aware of my physical injuries, I have to be aware of what I am thinking and pay attention to what I need. 

Sometimes I am very sad that I am hurt and that I live most of my time in a chair; however, I have been living my life without realizing that I don't give enough of myself to people in need. Now I see what has been missing from my life. So, this is all worth it and it is hard to be sad when I realize that this is what I have to go through to live a more richer life. Okay, that sounded like a crock 'cause it is scary & painful right now, but that is why imagining me being able to help others in the future lifts me out of the present situation and gives me hope. 

I am writing all of this not for your sympathy, but because maybe by sharing this with you it might connect with something you or someone you know is going through and raise awareness that you are not alone or that your friend may need to hear that they are not alone. Thanks for listening; you're the best.

 

PRE-OP

This last week was one of making appointments for all the pre-op and going on these appointments. I messed up on the time for my Ultrasound and was 15 minutes late (I am never late for appointments) and sure enough the first time I am I get a nasty mean individual who tried to be as rude & unkind as can be. I don't know if ultrasounds are supposed to be painful,but this one sure was. I have a broken arm, and a bruised and smashed up face and he gets to be upset over a few minutes late! Oh, and he kept playing the sound of my heart beating real loud; maybe he thought it would freak me out but it made me smile cause my heart made funny but healthy sounds. I don't know if he got my sarcasm when I was leaving, I told him what a kind and thoughtful man he was and that I appreciated his making this experience an easy one. Also, I didn't want him to think he got to me, the creep. It's also nice leaving a bad experience behind and knowing that I took the high road. And I was hoping that if I was kind maybe he would be gentler with the patients coming after me. The ultrasound said my heart was in good shape for surgery; no problems. Yay!

But this is the thing about getting hurt and having to see doctors & techs that you have no relationship with. Most are really good people and are helpful, but not always. The next day we went for the pre-op visit to go over all my tests (I had just had a complete physical about two weeks before my fall). I got the thumbs up (by a really thoughtful doctor), so I will be having surgery soon with a specialist that does this kind of repair all the time. Phew! My ulna is broken from my elbow and has to be reattached and screwed into place. Would you believe that this is a common surgery? It is and that makes me feel so relieved. It usually takes about an hour & a half and I get to go home that day!

I haven't had a chance to take photos yet of the mosaic and substrates; everything is so much harder with only one arm (and it's my left arm and I am right-handed), but I am learning new skills and how to be patient, although that's a work in progress. And I sleep a lot. Which is where I am going now. Goodnight and peaceful sleep to all.

BROKEN!

Bad News!

I tripped over some plastic while walking into the market Thursday around 1:30 p.m. and hit the blacktop. I hit so hard that I blacked out for a bit then I rolled over and the pain crashed into my awareness and I knew I was hurt and wasn't going to be able to get up. A concerned young woman's face appeared above me and she introduced herself as a nurse. I had smashed into the asphalt with the right-side of my body. I was wearing sun glasses which had lacerated parts of my face and my mouth was lacerated inside so I started to have blood coming from those injuries. My knee hurt bad and I couldn't move my arm without stabs of enormous pain shooting through it.

A manager from the store came out to get my info off my driver's license for an incident report and told me he was so sorry this had happened to me. When asked how it happened, I told him that I had slipped on something. Another man spoke up and pointed to a long black pen laying where I would have been walking. I was taken down by a pen! I love pens, but not that one, obviously. While waiting for the ambulance I started to get the shakes, a combination of freezing weather and shock which made everything hurt so much more.

The ambulance came and took me away. I won't go into the details of the visit to the ER except that when I looked at my face (and this was after they had cleaned it up) I was shocked to see the amount of damage but it will hopefully heal. I looked like I had been in the boxing ring and went 10 rounds. Oh yeah, and I was the one that lost. It turned out that my elbow is broken and I have to have surgery.

I have finished one small mosaic, prepped one substrate for a door, and prepped a mermaid cut-out substrate before the fall. I will post pictures soon. Hope you are all healthy and doing fun things.